Forgiveness Is Not A Feeling

and forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us.

— Matthew 6:12 (NLT)

All of us want to be forgiven when we do something wrong. We are glad when someone has mercy on us and doesn’t hold an offense against us. But usually it is very hard to really forgive.

Why? Because we feel betrayed and hurt. Then we begin to go down a dangerous trail with our thoughts. We think of how we have done “good” toward that person and how bad what they did made us feel. “How could they after all I’ve done for them?” Then we build a case against them in our mind and the scenario gets worse as we meditate on what happened and we talk about it. 

Hurts are common in this world. If we allow ourselves to soak in the wrong that was done to us, we will not be open to seeing another way of handling the situation. It feels good to justify our feelings and what we really want is someone to sympathize with us, not tell us how we need to forgive. We say to ourselves, “I forgive, but you don’t understand what they did . . . “

When I don’t truly forgive, I am robbed of joy. I become angry. I feel worthless. I get sick. I allow another person to control me. I have put all the attention on me and I feel justified. 

Forgiveness does not deny pain or wrongdoing. You are not just waving it away saying it doesn’t matter. It does matter, but God tells us to forgive for our benefit. He knows what unforgiveness does to us. If you don’t stop being angry and let it go, you may become that anger. Stop and look at the consequences. even when your mind is screaming, it’s not fair.

Forgiveness is not a feeling, it’s a decision. Once you make a decision to forgive, you cast off, put away, let go of self pity, offense, anger, judgment, etc. It takes real effort when you feel hurt or betrayed and no one else can do it for you. It is important to send away the wrong feelings, put on forgiveness and bless. 

After you do that and those feelings of hurt try to come back, begin blessing the person verbally and don’t allow pictures of what happened to influence you. Refuse to entertain them. You may have to do this many times, but as you do it, you will be set free. 

Only when I put into practice what I know in my head am I helped. It’s easy to justify in my mind that “my” situation is different. If others knew what happened they would agree with me. 

Friends, this is where the rubber meets the road. We know stuff in our head, but we are not facing it. To forgive and have freedom, I must choose God’s way and do what He says. Justifying my actions will not help me. Freedom comes by applying God’s wisdom. Do the hard thing, the wise thing. Face your unforgiveness and throw it away. 

Remember that healing takes time, so be patient with yourself. 

“The Sea of Forgetfulness is a no fishing zone”